The Harley
Now Playing: The writing and art of Chava Hudson. Copyright. May not be copied without my permission.
Topic: mid-life dating
The Harley
Joe watched Carli as she sashayed towards the cafe on the sidewalk. He enjoyed the way her legs meandered long and lean from her shorts for more than what should be legal. As she walked, loose as a jungle cat, he studied the very interesting fact that with each jutting forward of one of her wondrous limbs, her hips tilted ever so slightly from side to side. It was going to be a glorious day.
“Well good morning, beautiful,” he said, nodding as Carli approached the streetside table where he sat with David.
“Morning,” she said, not really stopping, since she had been anticipating her iced coffee. She planned to take it down to the beach where she would do a little reading while the morning air was still cool.
“You look lovely this morning,” said Joe, hoping to detain her so that he could get a close-up of her legs. “As perfect as this summer day,” he added.
She felt a little flustered. All of Joe’s efforts deserved more than just a hello, but she wanted to go to the beach. “Yes, it is a beautiful day, isn’t it?”
“I think he meant you,” said David. “Joe, this is the part where you’re supposed to introduce me.” He too gazed at Carli and his blue eyes filled with deep appreciation as he took in her legs, thinking for just a moment how nice it would feel to have those legs wrapped around him. He extended his hand. “I’m David.”
Carli shook it. "It's nice to meet you."
“So what brings you out on this wondrous morning?” asked Joe.
“Just thought I’d get a coffee, do a little reading at the beach, and clear my head,” said Carli.
“How do you clear your head?” asked David.
Carli pointed to the cafe. “Caffeine,” she said.
“You know, they say that caffeine is the Ritalin for adults who have ADD,” said David.
“David is a doctor, so he ought to know,” said Joe.
Carli felt David’s eyes on her thighs and thought that a doctor should have had seen enough legs that he wouldn’t be so fascinated by a new pair. She remembered her mission. “Well, it’s been very nice to meet you,” she said. “Very educational. I’m going to get my coffee now,” she said, waving her hand. As she did this, Joe caught it mid-air. “So, why don’t you join us?”
She was tempted. They were amusing and David was certainly charming and handsome. And a doctor! She would get her coffee and then she would see. She was already mentally reviewing her day to see if she could get to the beach later. They both looked at her so imploringly that she almost laughed. She had them drooling!
David said something but Carli couldn’t hear him over the approaching sputter of a motorcycle. Based on the volume, Carli thought it was going to a very big bike. It was a Harley, painted with orange and black flames and as wide as a horse. On top of it sat a woman, her huge flower tattoo branded like an emblem where the back of her low jeans gaped dangerously from her tank top. Locks of blond hair hung below her helmet and lay on her tan bare shoulders. As she rode by, both David and Joe rose to their feet as if they were going to sing the national anthem. They totally forgot she was there.
“That’s some bike,” said David, finally to Joe. “I’ll bet that thing cost $18,000.”
“I think I’ll get my coffee now,” Carli said, but neither one of them noticed as she slipped inside the cafe.
“See you later,” she said as she passed them again moments later sipping her drink. She was determined now to be on her way to the beach, no matter what they said. But they didn’t try to stop her this time. She was already a has been, and they hardly noticed.

Read more by Chava Hudson at writing and illustration of Chava Hudsonwww.chavaniceday.com


All writing and artwork is copyrighted by Chava Hudson. Glicee prints of artwork may be purchased through Chava Hudson: online gallerychava@chavahudsondesign.com

Zagats for Men
Topic: mid-life dating
Zagats for Men


As I bushwhack my way through the dating jungle, I have often wished that men would come with ratings, kind of like restaurants, or that they be required to wear warning labels like prescription drugs. These labels would be color coded for quick identification of today’s single man; green for a commit-phobe, red for problems with anger, yellow for too much drinking. You get the idea. But unfortunately, like today’s herbal remedies, they are totally unregulated, so a single woman must do her best to assess men for herself. Like restaurant reviews that can help us find the best places to dine, I would like to share my rating system to help women in their quest to find a man.

Let’s start at the top. In my opinion, a four-star man has arrived at middle age and no longer whines about his divorce. Through prior training, he knows that if I cook, he cleans up. He knows when to arrive with flowers and even better, how to make reservations. More importantly, he has a generous and open heart and the only thing he would ever hit is a golf ball, or maybe the jackpot in Las Vegas.

The typical three-star man is similar to the four-star, but he is subject to lapses of belching and gas. The two-star man has not found himself yet, and is probably fifty years old, never been married, and looking for the lucky young women to bear his children. It’s easy to spot the one-star man. He’s about forty-five, lives with his mother, and can’t afford to take you out for coffee. I have laid it out ladies, and the choice is yours.

So how are you supposed to tell what a man’s rating is when you meet him? Unfortunately, many men will try to appear like they have higher rating. For instance, the dapper fifty-two year old guy who picks you up in his shiny BMW might appear like a four-star, but you then learn that he has never been married and is leaving soon to find a twenty-five year old wife in Columbia, and is about to go bankrupt. (If we had the mandatory labels, his would be green and there would be no problem.) Or someone who you think is a solid three-star may get demerits for spending your entire dinner telling you about his villainous ex-wife.

As you can see, this is all very unclear and ambiguous. What is a woman to do? As far as restaurants go, even though I do read reviews, I am always seeking those yet to be discovered little places with good food, good service, and reasonable prices that have modeled themselves on four-star restaurants. When it comes to men, it’s not all that different. The best ones may not come in a BMW or have all the answers, but if the guy is like those restaurants, maybe an undiscovered place with “good food” and “good service” and if the emotional “price” is reasonable, then bon appetite!

Reprinted from the Jewish Journal, 7/14/05
Read more by Chava Hudson at writing and illustration of Chava Hudsonwww.chavaniceday.com

All writing and artwork is copywrited by Chava Hudson. Glicee prints of artwork may be purchased through Chava Hudson: chava@chavahudsondesign.com, or to see more, vistit her online gallery.

Posted by chavahudson at 1:09 PM EDT

Updated: Sunday, 14 August 2005 7:57 PM EDT

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